Archive for November, 2012

Sledge Percee from Chicken Gulp Missississippi rights…..Dear Hughy….. I am having trouble getting my wife to agree with me on some important issues.. I’d either like for you to tell me how to understand women …OR ….explain the inner workings of the atomic substructure of plutonium as it relates to the genoseismic underpinnings of the Einstenian Theorum of Radonaline aniquitism……Or build a pipeline out of toothpicks to transport oil from the middle east to Katmandu……. Whichever is easier for you…?

.

From Female thought process analyst Hughy…

.

Hold on a minute!!!!!……………

I’m thinking it over………….

.

Let me do some checking on the price of toothpicks…..

What type wood wood be the best to utilize ….

and would bee the most oil resistant….?

.

I will also research more details on the

Einsteinian Dibtwiniaric Amalgamation

Which was, in point of fact, the origin of

the issue you brought up.

.

Understanding the female thought process…..

Is much too complex to even consider in this forum.

Although I have mastered it…

It would take much longer to explain

Than the pipeline project….

and even the best answer could become

obsolete without warning.

.

HEEEEEE!!!! HAWWWWWW!

.

As we all know, there should have been a pipeline years ago…..

Let me check my schedule…….

….

Wait just another minute….

My wife is needing my advice

on several things….

…….HEEEEEEEEEEE

HAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

YUK YUK

YABADABA DOOOOOOOOOEEEEEEE

EEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!…

Buy the weigh,…….. If I wind up needing to go into hiding…..

for a day or two…. I will still try to post more wisdom

from my clandestine location.

OOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

DEARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!

This first picture is of a nice lady that just realized I was right about something….

The photo was taken at the exact moment that she agreed with me….

What a nice candid shot of a special moment.

This is a gal that just realized I was right about something.....And is so grateful for my help.

In this stellar pic….An entire group agrees with me…

It seems that THE JOY IS SPREADING….. I wish I had given more advice

way before I did…..

https://i0.wp.com/i687.photobucket.com/albums/vv234/PureEnergyFitness/HappyWomen.jpg

 

HOWEVER…THERE ARE a Very VERY few SKEPTICS LEFT…..

 

BUT.......There are skeptics.

Advertisements

Insulle’ Therbstetian from the upper northeastern corner of Franisatan writes dearest Mr. Hugh….. With all your stellar accomplishments in the mathematical, bilological, astromanical , linguistic, and Literature world. (To say nothing of the time you rescued a confused dental hygienist from the clutches of a Cross-eyed Grizzly bear)…..Have you ever been knighted by the Queen of England…?

.

From Sir Hughy

.

Well…………Shucks….. I don’t know why you

had to bring all that stuff up

………..I shouldnt have chosen this

question from the millions of others.

.

No………… I have never even been INVITED to that

gals house for supper ..to visit with her and give her

advice on ruling a country and how to handle

oafs and Jousters. And Drawbridge breakdowns.

.

No wonder they’ve got problems over there…

And they’ve got such an accent ,

a feller can’t make out what they’re saying

to start wiff.

.

I have NOT  ever been KNIGHTED by any

government official

BUT… I was called SIR ..on two

differnt occccassssions.

Once by a waitress at Arby’s and

Once by a kindergartener

who had lost his mommy.

 

Bernadine Grugman from Coelyocanth Switzerland writes….. dear Hughy, You better get the spelling of my towns name write… NOW… Heres the deal buster…. I need to clear up, even out, and improve my overall skin tone. I think its out of tune. What should I do…?

.

From Tuner Boy Hughfus

.

Welllllll….. Yes. Skin tone is important. For example…..

If there are thirty people in a room and all of them have a

TONE coming from their skin in the Key of E Flat….

EXCEPT ONE…………..

.

The whole room is in chaos…..

.

Bernadine: I have listened to recordings of your face

Especially around the mustache area.

And you do have tone issues there. Around your eyes

the tone meter shows you to be within the

acceptable E flat Range.

.

SO SO MUCH AT STAKE HERE

In order to

SAVE FACE.

.

Some have asked how to change the tone of their skin..

In fact , as I recall, YOU JUST DID…..

It is done by stretching your face with one hand placed on each side

Until it sounds just write……..

You’ll know when you get it right.

Elliot Mess from Clunkersmash Michigan writes… dear Hugh… I am very concerned about your mental health and that you do knot actually pay any attention to what people send in to you…. I think you are a terrible listener… Plus you poke fun at Liberrians and Fonics and stuff… Are you hearing what Im saying?

.

From Listener Hughbert

.

Thank you so much for this insightful question Fred.

.

The planet with the most rings all around it was once

claimed to be SATURN.

BUT… I heard more rings since twelve o’clock today

HERE ON EARTH than Saturn has ever experienced.

.

Everywhere I go, there is something ringing…..

I went fishing one day and talked on

the silly phone ….half the time I was out there.

.

I even had to tell a catfish to….. HOLD ….on the line.

.

Oh dear……….. Even I shouldnt have said that.

.

Well………… I must go re count the hares in my eyebrows.

I didnt intend to head off down that rabbit trail….

But it is watt it iz.

.

Ignatious Wadfoote from Bertha’s Bluff New York…. writes dear Hughy… We live waaaaaaaaay out in the sticks… and have seen the Abnomiable Snowman more than once… But have also heard of something called Ducked Ape…….. Who ..or …What is Ducked Ape?

.

From Rare Varmit and Adhesive Hughy

.

Well…….this is such an important question… I am sincerely inpressed buy it.

Thank you for sending this inn.

.

This is a STICKY subject.

But I will try to ADHERE to general common cents .

I’m on a roll here.

.

Now…………….. Lots and lots of people

have a Ducked Ape specimen….in the CAR or

TRUCK or utility room…

AND THEY MAY NOT EVEN KNOW IT….

.

Ducked Apes are generally docile creatures

that live around air-conditioning and heating

transfer tubing.

Even if you spot one, you may have trouble

prying it loose from the piping….

.

Duct Apes are thin….VERY VERY thin critters…..

Usually about TWO inches wide…

But sometimes as long as a hundred feet….

Which makes em very difficult to control…  IF they attack.

Cause they can be in two or three places at once.

.

Uh oh……… I see one headed my weigh….

OHHHHHHHHHHHHH KNOW!!!!!!!!!!!!

_______________________________________________________________________________

                                          This little video is absolutely hilarious…..

                                          A mother duck attacking a swimmer….

                                           HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wadell Wingman from Pleaseeausaur Scotland..(just south of Loch Ness)…writes dear Hugh…..Early in the morning my eyesight is not real good…and I mistakenly used a can of RAID …for Hairspray. It seemed to work perty well and I’m thinking about repackaging it and selling it salons,,..once I get the bugs worked out of my distribution network… Do you see any potential health risks..?

.

From Hygienic and Hair Care Hughy…..

.

Well Waddell………….. I don’t think that spraying

toxicicacal poison all over your head should be a problem.

.

Normally, poison doesn’t absorb real well

through toupee’s.

BUT BUT BUT……. Health risks are very

very severe for any roaches  or

insecticidinal araptoids that may be

residing in your hairdo….

.

Let me recommend that you think seriously about just

forgetting the hole hairspray

idea…. ….. Ive seen pictures of your hair issues..

And I must say , I have never seen someone lose

all follicular growth on only the LEFT SIDE of their head….

But that HALF TOUPEE just doesnt match

the hair on the other side.

I think you’re better off to just be bald on the

LEFT side and have natural

follicular productionisms on the right.

.

And make sure, when you go for a haircut,……

That you get it for half price.

.

Justin Blythe Sheldon III from Flump Ohio writes…. Dear Hugh….. I watched my first football game today…. and they kept talking about getting their quarters back…. and wild receivers…. and reaching the gold line…. I know that you are an explurt in this kind of thing…. What is going on with all that stuff…..?

.

From Sportsboy Hughy

.

Football Football Football………… Yes….

I am very familiar with the girdiron ….

and it’s associationalistically ensuing activities.

.

Getting their quarters back is what all

those big guys that crouch down in a line

are trying to do…..

.

Now…..why they were hauling a bunch of change

around out there in those goofy outfits…

is certainly a question that needs to be addressed.

But , not now…

Im still too stuffed from Thanksgiving to deal with

too much at once.

.

The wild receivers are really really folks

that have to be watched……

They run up and down

the field.. waving their arms and

there are constantly others fellers tryin to

catch up with em and

keep em from running off with the football.

If they ever get hold of it….

They have to call the game off since there’s

only one football fer em to play with….

..

The Gold Line is  that spot on the end near the gold post…….

It’s where all them fellers

seem to want to go…… But nobody’s sure why that is…

Since there ain’t any gold anywhere close…..AND

Cause they don’t seem to wanta stay there long

once they get to it…..

FRANKLY, the whole thing is kinda odd……..

.

But  some folks want to watch

all the goings on….

though I don’t think it’s ever gonna

really catch on……

or amount to much.

.

%d bloggers like this: