Archive for April, 2014

Velcroeline Clingwadd from Sticktooit Sweden writes Dear Hughy;…………..Sometimes I feel like I am merely running around in circles…Using lots and lots of energy but ending up right where I started…..What should i do ’bout this?….and , if I sent you this question before, please know that I will send it again and again and again…….Its just the weigh I operate in my world of LOOPING……of Loooping Of Looping.

From Hughy

.

Certainly……

This is a source of greivous

concern concern concern

as is the fact that I just

misspelled the word ……

“greivous” .

……..

 

Wellllllllllllllll Velcy………..

The first thing to do is

GIVE UP BEING A

Race Car Driver.

I don’t want me and you

to go round and round

about this…….

.

You’ve just got to put the

brakes on this driving a

circuitous route

in

a

redundant

manner…………..

redundant manner.

Addsley Divvider from Plusabunch Italy writes Dear Hughy: My friends and I watch your writings very closely, (which is a concern to our ward clerk here at the facility)….but be that as it may, We understand that you are developing a new cologne and will also be changing the spelling of cologne….thusly eliminating the G. Are these rumors correct?

From Hughy

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Howdy Addsley…..Yes …!!!!!!!!!!!! They are both true!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!…………….I am near completion of a new Fragrance made entirely from Turnip Greens and Cauliflower Shavings…………It doesn’t smell very good……..But its healthy for you to wear.

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I am searching for a good . marketable name for it………..Right now I’m calling it Turnip and Cauliflower Anti Stink Aggregate (TCASA) Our research has shown that many folks are not drawn to the name at this point. So I  may rethink that part of the project…………….

Charles S…from Sideswipe New York writes Dear Hugh: Would you please explane the diffrnce between JOGGING and BLOGGING……..?????? I can’t afford to get much strenuous exercise ….but am considering starting a blog. Blogging sounds like it could get my heart rate up and involve extensive exertionism. I’m turning to you for help. I feel good about myself for utilizing such good judgment-type prudence.

Answer From Hugh :
Thank you for this opportunity to illucidate an important topic Charles………….

While there is a similarity in the two spoken words “Jogging” and “Blogging” , there is nothing even CLOSE in comparison of the caloric consumption. In my particular case, Jogging involves running off to somewhere I didnt need to go…..and then hoping I can make it back….to where I started…..

Conversely, Blogging involves my discussion of an issue that no one needed to address and then hoping I can return to the real world before my wife catches me doin it (when I was supposed to be carrying out the garbage.)

Exercising is particularly perilous for me due to the fact that, when I lose wait, it always leaves from my BRAIN first. I dieted and lost 10 pounds after Christmas…leaving me with only 20 lbs of brain. I cant afford to lose any more…………….Hugh

The swatter

Dacshund, Goose etc

P. Elrod Hubbner from Widgetflip Oregon writes Dear Hugh: You vaguely addressed the UFO controversy a few daze ago. And I have a question for you that has nothing whatsoever to do with that…So , frankly, I don’t know why I mentioned it……Where is the Arctic Circle? I want to know now.!!!!.

From Hughy…

,

Where is the Arctic Circle? WELL DON”T BLAME ME IF IT”S MISSING.!!!!!!!!!!!! I have no idea where it went or who took it. Have you tried lookin in Mrs Higginbottoms Math room desk….?

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I never have been one to keep up with the location of geometric configurations or conflabutisms.

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Now regarding the UFO mention several daze ago….YES, I DID mention it……I am very interested in the subject…And have become convinced over the years that there is life in some form (or forms)……..from “elsewhere” that comes here.  There is too much evidence to dismiss it all.

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Very interesting subject…….perhaps i will get a question from one of these “visitors” one day soon.

Thatte W. Slorthem from Dallvune Montana wrties dear Hugh: I’d like to host a “going away party” for you. The first thing I’ve got to do is get you to GO AWAY. What will that take?

From Hughy

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Howdy Mr. Slorthem……..If I may say so…..WHERE ON EARTH DID YOU GET A NAME LIKE “THATTE”?……………Now…..I appreciate you wanting to throw a going away party….How utterly sweet….!

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But….I can’t go away at this time. Weigh two much knowledge is still kneaded by the unwashed throngs out there who cling to me for information and insight into issues of no consequence. Which is important.

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I fill a position that is knot kneaded in any way (similar to some other “jobs” out there) and so must continue my efforts…..But thank you so much for encouraging me to quit and go away. I am touched by your forward thinking ……………….

Turnblatt Willifurm from Buzzard Crunch Kentucky writes Dear Hugh: Did the Eency Weency Spider climb up the water spout….Like parents always tell their children?

From Hugh:::::::::::::::

Excellent Question!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!………..

While the spout climbing assertion

has certainly been bandied about

all of my life-………….

There is little or know evidence

to support such a

ubiquitous claim.

There is also the very serious

doubt as to whether or knot the

the arachnid in question….

Was indeed diminutive and

very little……

but not redundant or repetitive..

.

Spider stories are generally replete

with overstated assertionary stuff.

Yes, I said “REPLETE.” I know the word,

and therefore will utilize it at a whim.

.

I havent used it scents april of 1983…..

So dont tellm ee that it is overused.

Elmo Radcliff Rimling IV from Shufflers Ridge Tennessee writes Dear Hugh: I was having trouble with raccoons in my garden so I put out one of those very humane live traps to capture the varmit for release in a remote region. I baited it with chunks of cantaloupe and diced Snickers bars. The trouble is,…..this morning, I looked out and……….My wife was in it. This cannot be construed as good. What do I do now?

From Hughy

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Well Elmo: I knew there was a catch to this story. You are indeed correct that this can’t be construed as good in any way.

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My advice to you at this point is to stop posting stuff on this blog …..AND GO LET HER OUT….This is key.

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If you do not release her soon….She is liable to be very irritated once she regains her freedom.

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NOTE: (It is conceivable, however, that if there are unresolved issues in your marriage……..You could just carry her some snacks and water and while seated by the cage you could work through some things together.) As I think more about it, I really am leaning toward going ahead and releasing her immediately. While it is true that she had no business in there in the first place….Some wives find live animal traps to be nonconducive to conversation.

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Let me know how this goes…..Incidentally….did she get all the Snicker slices??????????

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