Archive for August, 2011

Sammy Grincherlan from high atop a 1200 foot radio tower in Peoria Illinois writes Dear Hughy: Would you bring me my wrench?

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Howdy Sammy!………… from ole Hughy

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‘  Sammy…….I know you’ll understand that I have know intention of climbing a 1200 ft. radio tower to give you a wrench. May I reccccommmmend, Simply ordering a pizza from a delivery joint…………and tell the guy to grab the wrench on the way up……..They’ll deliver anywhere.


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Jogging vs. Blogging the axhughal Facts

Charles S…from Sideswipe New York writes              Dear Hugh:

Would you please explane the diffrnce between JOGGING and BLOGGING……..??????  I  can’t afford to get much strenuous exercise ….but am considering starting a blog. Blogging sounds like it could get my heart rate up and involve extensive exertionism. I’m turning to you for help. I feel good about myself for utilizing such good judgment-type prudence.

Answer From Hugh :
Thank you for this opportunity to illucidate an important topic Charles………….

While there is a similarity in the two spoken words “Jogging” and “Blogging” , there is nothing even CLOSE in comparison of the caloric consumption. In my particular case, Jogging involves running off to somewhere I didnt need to go…..and then hoping I can make it back….to where I started…..

Conversely, Blogging involves my discussion of an issue that no one needed to address and then hoping I can return to the real world before my wife catches me doin it (when I was supposed to be carrying out the garbage.)

Exercising is particularly perilous for me due to the fact that, when I lose wait, it always leaves from my BRAIN first. I dieted and lost 10 pounds after Christmas…leaving me with only 20 lbs of brain. I cant afford to lose any more…………….Hugh

Click the “play” button below to hear “Under Wood Creek”     copyright Hugh Banks 2007 ASCAP

Little Livvy Snodgrass from her crib in Peoria writes Dear Mr. Hughy, My mommy just red me a story about an old woman that lived in a shoe. That;s interesting. Did she stick her tongue out at people? Hee! HEE!

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From Mr Hughy:

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How would I know if your mom stuck her tongue out at people? Listen Livvy. You little fellers have got know business trying this stuff at home. You are trying to be funny I suppose…

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And no…the old lady that lived in the shoe DIDNT stick the Tongue of the shoe out at folks ..(The meter box was mounted on it….It would have cause all kinds of electrical issues.)



Little 18-month-old Buzzy Fumpster (from standing on a paint can reaching up to the computer) writes Dear Mr. Hughy, I’m standing on a paint can reaching up to the computer and working hard since I am illiterate due to my youthful status……My Daddy is a WATERM Eater checker for the city of Phling Idaho…..What is a WATERM? And why does my daddy get paid to check up on the folks that eat em….?

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From Mr Hughy

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Howdy there young man……………Be careful up there on that paint can………

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I believe you will find that your daddy is a Water Meter Information Collection Officer (WMICO)……….He’s the one that sends me a bill every month for how much water my household has consumerized during the previous 30 day comma……..(some wood say thirty day period…….)…but that’s perty trite.

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There is no such thang as a WATERM……..
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Addsley Divvider from Plusabunch Italy writes Dear Hughy: My friends and I watch your writings very closely, (which is a concern to our ward clerk here at the facility)….but be that as it may, We understand that you are developing a new cologne and will also be changing the spelling of cologne….thusly eliminating the G. Are these rumors correct?

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From Hughy

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Howdy Addsley…..Yes …!!!!!!!!!!!! They are both true!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!…………….I am near completion of a new Fragrance made entirely from Turnip Greens and Cauliflower Shavings…………It doesn’t smell very good……..But its healthy for you to wear.

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I am searching for a good . marketable name for it………..Right now I’m calling it Turnip and Cauliflower Anti Stink Aggregate (TCASA) Our research has shown that many folks are not drawn to the name at this point. So I  may rethink that part of the project…………….

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Velcroe Clingerman from Gulpnsquish Sweden writes Dear Hughy;…………..Sometimes I feel like I am merely running around in circles…Using lots and lots of energy but ending up right where I started…..What should i do ’bout this?

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From Hughy

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Well Velc………..The first thing to do is GIVE UP BEING A Race Car Driver. I don’t want me and you to go round and round about this…….

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You’ve just got to put the brakes on this driving a circuitous route in a redundant manner…………..

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Trebuchet Anwaa Franswaaaaa from South Alabama writes….dear Hugh…….My mother says I can’t have another bowl of green jello…I would run away from home….but the last time I tried that,,,mom and dad didnt come look for me…..What do you think of that?……..

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From Hugh

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Wellll Trebb……………..You are 37 years old.

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Give it up buster………………..If you want more green jello…..then try to get a group of investors to invest their investments in you conducting a prolonged survey of Nine out of Ten Dentists ……..

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Perhaps the profits will provide ..not only huge amounts of useful information, but enough money  to buy all the green jello you want.

dentists masks Pictures, Images and Photos
dentist Pictures, Images and Photos

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