Welllllllllllllllllllllll……………They say.. “All good things must to an end come ……………”

…………Or something like that………………

And it is also true that CRAZY NUTTY STUFF

must come to an end……….

 

Friends Neighbors, Countrymen…..

Lend me your ears…….

 

I want to thank each of you who

have taken the time,

on even a single occcasssion,

to reed the diversion from

reality which I have

sent out through the atmosphere

of our terrestrial orb…..

….

As of this evening,…..

I am suspending the operation of

Hugh’s Answering Service……

I hope that it has offerrrrrrred  a

momentary smile frome

thyme to thyme………..

….

In my departure …………

I’d like to leave you

with just a few words….

Adjunct

Pervasive

Legubrious

Trepidatious

Recalcitrant

Ubiquitous

Cat

Erstwhile

Sump Pump

Radcliff

Inn

and finally………………….

Promelgate*

*Not to be confused with Watergate

……

Ifffffffffffff……….You have a desire to peruse the archives….

of Hughs answering Service….. there are hundreds of posts here….

under ARCHIVES.

LOL

Creamed Possum

The swatter

Rhino

dachshund on stilts - Copy

Pig debate

 

 

Headquarters 1

OVER AND OUT……………………………………..

May God bless……

.

.

.

.

.

Thank you for your participation…!!!!!

 

Ole Hughy…….

CEO CPO COO COOP COOK KOOK

of H.A.S.

Pillmer Vanaden from Ipswitchshire England stops squirting WD-40 on a drawbridge hinge long enough to type this inadequate quesstion to us hear at the H.A.S. Corporate Labyrinth……..Dear Hugh…..What comprises a legal U-turn…..? and , is there something called a HUGH TURN?…I keep hearing my GPS lady saying ….WHEN POSSIBLE MAKE A LEGAL HUGH TURN…..?????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I wait in anxious trepidation for your reply oh yon gibber of advice.

.

From Sir Hughbert

.

Welllllllllllllll.

I am going to state unwquivicllllee

that there is no such thing as a

HUGH TURN.

UNLESS I  (OR HUGH GRANT)

AMs ACTUALLY INVOLVED.

.

And I dont have the available time to

ride around town with everybody.

.

What constitutes a legal

YOU TURN….

Is when YOU go dee udder weigh….

within the confines of local statues that

are on da books.

.

Of coarse , if there are any big statues on the books …

you wont be able to open da books cause

statues are heavy,

especially the solid bronze ones.

Martha Louise Fumpridge is distraught this evening as she looks out the winnder and sees a Sasquatch playing a violin in her bird bath. She is distraught because she has left her smartphone in the car on the other side of the varmit. There’s no wiegh shes gonna get to the camera without running him off……And so she writes simply….dear Hughy, can you paint us a word picture of this event so that people will believe me and that this event can be preserved for posteritys?

.

.

Wellllll From Hughy

.

I think that painting a word pitcher of a

crosseyed-sasquatch wearing knickers and pla

ying Danny Boy in the key of eflat while

sitting cross legged in a mossy bird bath

is entirely too

difficult for me tood oooo.

.

Plus, their wood bee know point in it…..

Because we all know that what you saw was

contributed to by the placebos that you

are taking.

.

I warned you about this situation of overdoing that stuff.

.

Plus we all know that there is no such thing as

Sasquatches and Aliens.

In spite of numerous photos and first hand accounts

by credible people who have nothing to gain,

all ov er the known world.

Little Keb Glibbner from Peoria Illinoise rights in today….dear Hugh, I’m only three, but Im studying atmospheric phenomenanns,,,,,I new eye could turn to you for hep at anytime , so i felt comfortabel pursuing tough stuff at such an early age. Mr. Hughy What factors to contribute to snowfall?

 

,
From Mr. Hughy

 

.

 

Howdy Kebster:……………….

You are wise to be studying already,,

and depending on H.A.S. for answering

your questions regarding

intergalactic and terrestrial

weather phenomenaan and events….

and stuff.

 

.

 

There are several factoids that contribute

in various ways to snow falling. The initial

confibulation of intersreetiline crystalization

and molecular dibtwines set in motion a

juggernaut of reactions in the atmospheric vortex.

These then atriptifibble into a dubsplattine

metagripple and then turn into ice..

logo-1

 

.

 

The reason that snow falls……………

is gravity.

.

If it were not for gravity,

snow would just stay where it is

originally. (which would make it hard to sled)…

Many scientists do not grasp the

gravity

of the situation….

Which is why we hear at H.A.S.

are constantly vigilant

(and watchfully paying attention).

 

.

 

You’re welcome ole buddy.

.

Teacher 1

Little Bunky Foodslinger from Trounce Kentucky writes Dear Hugh…..I saw mommy kissing Santa Claus underneeth the missile tow last night…..I dont think she saw me sneak down the stairs to take a peak. She (innacurately was convinced that at the time) i was tucked in my bedroom fast asleep. This leads me to a conundrum. Should eye mention this to my dada…? Or just let it go as if it never transpired…..? Or should I admit that I just made the whole thing up to get back at adults for pulling the wool over my eyes with this “Santa deal” for the last 14 years….?.

.

frrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrom Hughy

.

Oopps …I gotta get that RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR key fixed…………

.

Now…………….It dont matter if mommy kissed Santa Claus……..It happens all the time to the chubby old geezer……He’s usually covered with soot and reindeer poop……….Its just a greeting kiss…………Nothing that presents a problem of any kind………Do not worry about it Bunkster.

,

So it took you fourteen years to figger this deal out huh??????????????????????………………………

.

Incicentally,,……….What do you call a Santa that walks at a 45 degree angle….?………..

.

SLANTA CLAUS.


Little Bunky Liverlip from the Waldorthf Castoroilia in Paris Tennessee writes Dear Hugh: I committed an infarction at school and the teacher told me to sit in the corner. Trouble is, we are part of a test school that was built in a perfect circle. Of course I’m frusterated, and Mrs. Sweatslinger is mad. She says she’s gonna call my mother….but Mommy’s cell phone hadnt worked right since she dropped it in the commode. The details of this are getting to me Mr. Hughy. Can you help?

Hugh’s Answering Service (H.A.S.)

.

From Hugh

.

Howdy Bunkster…..This is indeed a conundrum. Because I am real good at geography,..What I suggesterize is this……..Ask the teacher to plot a RADIUS across the Diameter of the School Premises….Now ..DO THE SAME again at a right angle to the first……..

.

This will create a Make-do corner in which you can sit. It should be in the center of the building. This location will allow you a good view of what all goes on around there. You can count on us at >H.A.S. to solve this junk Bunky. Have a good day.


.

Rudolph (the Rain deer with the Nose issue) writes in today Dear Hugh……I’ve been leading this heavily laden sliding cart rig…..For several daze now. I’m just gonna tell you right now……I’m tired of being out front getting all the bugs in my teeth. It’s not so bad in Siberia and places like that, but south Florida and Mexico etc…are really a challenge (even at 40,000 feet)…..Will you put in a word for me to the old chubby geezer? He reads your outrageous blog everyday. He will see anything you say. Wellllllllllllllll, Will you Hughy?

From Hughy

.

Well Rudolph, you know you are deer to my heart.  I know your task is probably a drag…… also know what you are LEADING up to …………You are going to ask Santa for a raise before the first of the year……maybe it’ll work out, you’ve got a lot of PULL…

.

But , let’s take this issue by its self for now………..I certainly understand the “bugs in your teeth” conundrum. But listen ole buddy….Your main concern is the question of whether or not any of those bugs are part of an ENDANGERED SPECIES. ….Clearly , they were endangered individuals. BUT IF IF IF IF ….they are on the ENDANGERED SPECIES LIST……You are liable to get sued…..

.

Talk this over with gregarious ole chubby cheeks……………..You tell him I said to “get you a disposable windshield or bug screen”…………Get with it Santa Baby… ….




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