Archive for October, 2013

Little Keb Glibbner from Peoria Illinoise rights in today….dear Hugh, I’m only three, but Im studying atmospheric phenomenanns,,,,,I new eye could turn to you for hep at anytime , so i felt comfortabel pursuing tough stuff at such an early age. Mr. Hughy What factors to contribute to snowfall?

 

,
From Mr. Hughy

 

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Howdy Kebster:……………….

You are wise to be studying already,,

and depending on H.A.S. for answering

your questions regarding

intergalactic and terrestrial

weather phenomenaan and events….

and stuff.

 

.

 

There are several factoids that contribute

in various ways to snow falling. The initial

confibulation of intersreetiline crystalization

and molecular dibtwines set in motion a

juggernaut of reactions in the atmospheric vortex.

These then atriptifibble into a dubsplattine

metagripple and then turn into ice..

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.

 

The reason that snow falls……………

is gravity.

.

If it were not for gravity,

snow would just stay where it is

originally. (which would make it hard to sled)…

Many scientists do not grasp the

gravity

of the situation….

Which is why we hear at H.A.S.

are constantly vigilant

(and watchfully paying attention).

 

.

 

You’re welcome ole buddy.

.

Teacher 1

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The Sardine SAGA………Dazed by the Sweltering heat….I am convinced to eat the first sardine of my 50 years.

Yes my friends………. Hughy was fifty PLUS…..before He/Me had a sardine….
And even then, it was under duress…….

Hugh's Answering Service (H.A.S.)

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Tony T. Turnblatt turns two tables topsy turvy to try to find the note he wrote to remind himself of what question to send to us here….today…..Having not located it yet, He simply writes….dear Hughy, What is the most commonly used and memorable quote that he said the most often….from Thomas Jefferson?

………

from Hughy

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Welllll………….

Thomas was quite a traveler…

And moved around a lot….

And he could do that at the time…

because he wasn’t as famous as

he is now.

.

At this point in his carreer, he would

knot be ablet oo

get out much….cause folks would be

worrying him silly for autographs.

.

But he was widely known for always asking

where the restroom was …

when he would go into a new town….

The Hugh's Answering Service Main  Headquarters in Frog Squat Alabama

The Hugh’s Answering Service Main Headquarters in Frog Squat Alabama

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The biggest problem he encountered at the time,

Was that there werent any restrooms yet…..

They didnt come along until about 1918….

Which,

I might add,……………………………..

raises a whole nuther,

Set of questions…..

That we will knead to deal with on a separate day…..

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Today is not the 1000th post……….that was two daze ago. So Im not sure why I brought it up again, except for the simple fact that I can. ……….And so I did. And you couldnt stop me………………Todays question comes from a disgruntled Librarian who is reviewing overdue book fines at the Liberry of Congress……Most of the overdue fines are from dead former Presidents and Living Congressmen and Senators………..(and other confused parties)……….. She writes Dear Hughy, I want to remain unanimous, so you wont know whom I am….What is the best way to get the money out of these miscreants? (Some of em owe the liberry as much as 12,000 smackers.)

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Well, from Hughbert

.

Howdy Mrs. Elwizabeth Crummley

from 1602

East Danderbury Avenue in

Possum Crush Tennessessee 23645

.

Hoep you are having a good day

but that you are having it

somewhere else besides a liberry.

ITS JUST TOO QUIET IN THERE.

.

As far as the deceased Presidents,

You are out of luck…..

dachshund on stilts - Copy

.

But, as far as the

Congressional Malfeasants go,

I am going to reccommmmend that you write

your

representatives….

That will be the closest you will come to

getting anything done about it.

((BUT, be advised,

the odds will be similar to the odds of successfully

carving a likeness of Albert Einstein

in a glob of banana pudding)))

.

They have probably

EXEMPTED themselves

from having to pay overdue book fines

..like they do other stuff

that WE normal folks are responsible for.

.

But write em…..

and let me know how it goes….

It should be interesting.

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Filbert P. Earllee is an entymologist and bug researcher….today he has written in with this startling development… dear Hugh, I have developed through reverse genetic engine earring, a termite that BUILDS houses,….instead of tearing em down….. How wood bee the best weigh to market such an invention……?

.

From Hughy

.

Welllllllllllll……………..

This is quite interesting….

Let’s see if we can lay a

foundation

for success in this situation.

.

First of all I must point out that,

as well as being a brilliant concept,

this is going

to be a potential problem……………..

depending on where the termites

start building…

They must not violate building codes…

and or ZONING rules and reghughlations.

.

They must also not start building right in

the middle of a house thats already there.

.

But I wouldnt worry about marketing it…..

I say just turn a jar full of them rascals loose…

And lets see how it goes….

.

And by the weigh….

Be careful not to spray for termites…

till this deal really takes hold….

.

You might be killing the wrong ones…..

.

This is the 1000th post here at H.A.S…………. If you have read all of em scents DAY ONE……You are probably in bad shape and need your cranium examined. So we are running a special on that very thing…. And we got a question today from someone named Tundra Mowere’………….Dear Hughy, Do you ever run specials on Psychiatric Counseling and Exams?

…….

From Hughbert.

.

Yes…………..

From time to thyme we do run specials….

Which is why i just said we run specials.

.

One thing we never run specials on is Galb ladder Surgery

.

But that’s not what we are talking about…

so i dont know why I brought it up…

.

but thats beside thep oint……

.

This week we are running a special for

anyone

whom reads this absurd blog on a

regular basis….

Clearly, there will be a need for

extensive and

EXPENSIVE treatment…..

Which may involve being sent to an

unihabited island….

where there is no intranet for

TWO Solid YEARS.

.

The price of an initial evalutation will be

twice the normal fee.

Because this is SPECIAL.

It is not like normal….

Its much higher.

.

But we do have financing terms

available….

.

Here are the terms we use in regard to financing…

Pay

Right

Now.

.

that is only three terms….

But it covers all the arrangements

that are possible with our diverse payment plans.

….

NOW, seriously………..

Thank you to those of you who read this ……

I hope that from time to time you find a

brief divergence from the

struggles of life

and perhaps a smile.

The world needs more grinning. …..

 

It’s not that i don’t take life seriously.

I do.

And,…. i am convinced that

a little more smiling

and a little less watching the news

might help a little…

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Today ………….. We hear a digital SHRIEK!!!!!!!!!!!!! From “Busy Bertha” Snarply who is a Flower coverer Upper for a local Plant supply company on cold nights in Alabama in Late October……….After a busy evening she stops to right …dear Hughy….I picked up a paper packet of cocoa mix…and It said JUST ADD HOT WATER….What should I do? It Looks risky.

From Helpful Hughert

.

Welllllllllllllllllllllll………

You are overthinking the situation

and thusly, are worrying over no thing.

Cocoa

.

Simply pour a cup of hot water in the

paper packet.

That’s what the directions say….

NOW STOP YOUR WHINING

AND DO IT.

.

I cant be sitting here questioning the

prudence of every manhughfacturer

under the sun.

 

SURELY the

paper can handle it..

With all the litigatory popensity in todayze

society, they aint gonna take a chance posting

directions like that without having

assumed the posture of competence.

Deep end

 

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