Posts from the ‘fun’ Category

Little Sally Stinkler from under her bed in Peoria writes dear Hugh……My daddy is planning to build some stairs…and I am very worried,..because he doesn’t know how. Can you give him some advice Mr. Hughy?

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From Hughy

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HowdySally………..Yes , I can give him some advice….First off, tell him he needs to get a haircut….. Secondly I advise him to sell your house for $96,500 instead of 100,765$…………………Thirdly, on the stair thing……..Tell him to take it ONE STEP AT A TIME.

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If he needs a leg up …on anything else let me no……………..I am here four you…..and you don’t have to hide under the bed.



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Henry Statley III from Tunblay Germany writes: dear Hugh…..What is the Vernal Equine Ox….and do think it’s real?

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From Hugh

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Hi Fred:   Well , as best I can tell,…..the Vernal Equine Ox is about as elusive as the Sasqwatch or the Abominamibdable Snowman. But YES!…I believe in them.

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According  to my reseerch, the last credible sighting of the V. Equine Ox was by Randy Scumslinger in August of 1944 near Peoria Illinois. He claims to have noticed the varmit gnawing on a tender bamboo shoot while trying to cross interstate 69. (The bamboo shoot wasnt trying to cross…It was the Equine Ox.)

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Some have noticed the apparent conflict between the term EQUINE and the normally Bovine-type OX……..But I’m not just horsing around here. And I’m no COWard………..We deal in facts.



Silvira Gersham from Lowdnlow Scottland writes Dear Hugh: I heard a friend say that she was “going to re-iterate” something. Is that hard to do?….I think I’d like to try it. But I don’t want to get involved with a process that is too complex.

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From Hugh

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Howdy Silvira:  Well it depends. If you have ever ITERATED………..You will find that it is not too difficult to RE-ITERATE. The catch is to remember what you ITERATED in the first place.

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This becomes an increasing problem over time. The Chronological Factorial Lapse (CFL) between the two events does factor into the equation. …and must be with dealt. (Couldn’t end on a preposition). Won of the keys to success with Re-iteration is to keep it in close proximity to Iteration…(generally within a minute or two……)

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Thanks so much for this pertinent query. So many have wondered about this for so long in so many places and from so many perspectives on so many issues…and so many have no idea how to with deal it. I’m glad to get a chance to clear this comumdrum up,………………Ole Hughy

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Randy “Clucker” Chickman from Lard Pennsylvania writes dear Hugh: I’ll just be honest with you. I think you are a goofball…and dont’ know squat about anvils. That post yesterday was full of baloney and that bad joke was as sad as anything I’ve ever heard. Do you take it personally when people criticizerize specific aspects of your behavior and life choices…..Do you reel in shame and self doubt….?

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From Hugh:

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Look “Clucker”……….Why would I take stuff like that personally? Are you kidding me? I am running a megolithicisticarian empire type dynasty thingy. Becoming a “Sultan of Say”…………..I cant worry about the hundreds of thousands of individuals who think Im a goob…….and give me “down the road”…

Why don’t you go change out the old air in your tires or something and calm down. I’m placing you on PROBATION for a number of daze..equal to your height in centimeters. You better be glad you havent had a growth spurt…….

Little Bunky Liverlip from the Waldorthf Castoroilia in Paris Tennessee writes Dear Hugh: I committed an infarction at school and the teacher told me to sit in the corner. Trouble is, we are part of a test school that was built in a perfect circle. Of course I’m frusterated, and Mrs. Sweatslinger is mad. She says she’s gonna call my mother….but Mommy’s cell phone hadnt worked right since she dropped it in the commode. The details of this are getting to me Mr. Hughy. Can you help?

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From Hugh

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Howdy Bunkster…..This is indeed a conundrum. Because I am real good at geography,..What I suggesterize is this……..Ask the teacher to plot a RADIUS across the Diameter of the School Premises….Now ..DO THE SAME again at a right angle to the first……..

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This will create a Make-do corner in which you can sit. It should be in the center of the building. This location will allow you a good view of what all goes on around there. You can count on us at >H.A.S. to solve this junk Bunky. Have a good day.


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Selly Byeman from Velcro Kansas…..buts in…….Hey Hughy: Tell ole Tatcher “I ‘ve got a barn full of old end tables that my cousin bought up when he got on a fiber craze back in ’94″… I’ll throw in a free bottle of Smuckers Grape Jam and a left over jar of mayonnaise “……40 bucks (US) for all of it.

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From Hugh……

Thanks………..I’ll pass it along…………I think he’s gonna knead it.

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Fletch Gizmene’ from Erlsberg France writes Dear Huh: Once again, you have failed us over the weekend….What is going on out there in Frog Squat Alabama? Do you knot have “people” who can Answer questions while you are on tour giving meaningless speeches to Squash Conventions and Anvil Manhughfacturers all over the world?

 

 

Howdy Giz…..I did have “people”…but in the FRACUS over government funding in Congress last week,……Even I got confused and forgot to pay my hundreds of thousands of researchers and answering personelllllllllle…….Thusly, No questions were answered over the weekend. I , once again , hang my head in disgrace.

I am lower than a gopher in a rock quarry…….Depressed over my failure. Reeling over my lackluster performance. Feeling inadequacy at every turn. I even sat with a group of earthworms over lunch..and felt at home. Oh the Hugh manity!…………And hey Giz….You misspelled my name in your post..it is not ‘Huh”…! it has a ‘G” in it. H U G H


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