Archive for April, 2011

The American Dental Bunch (ADB) writes in with this angry reply to my furniture eating advice from two days ago. Dear Hugh: What on earth are you doing? Look at the pictures we are receivn from around the country. You are in big trouble. What about these people’s teeth?

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From Hugh

I never said it was good for your  bicuspids Boys and girls……..Let’s clarifyerize that right now.

Perhaps these individuals are not using common sense………Common sense is key to these issues as I have pointed out repeatedly and over  and over.

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Selly Byeman from Velcro Kansas…..buts in…….Hey Hughy: Tell ole Tatcher “I ‘ve got a barn full of old end tables that my cousin bought up when he got on a fiber craze back in ’94″… I’ll throw in a free bottle of Smuckers Grape Jam and a left over jar of mayonnaise “……40 bucks (US) for all of it.

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From Hugh……

Thanks………..I’ll pass it along…………I think he’s gonna knead it.

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Tatcher Clingman from Velcro Kansas writes Dear Hugh…..My wife follows your blog very carefully and took your advice on eating furniture in order to increase her daily fiber intake. Now I’m sitting on the floor..The cabinets are damaged..And the “end tables” will be gone in two days…..What now?.

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Don’t look at me Thatchy ole buddy……….

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I can’t hep it if your wife is out of control. Some people!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!……….All I know too tell you is to start paying close attention to yard sales….and buy all the old stuff you can get.

Meanwhile. tell her thanks for taking my advice ……….Sounds like a smart gal.

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P.s….The photo below. Is that something she’s been gnawing on?…….Why not add a little steak sauce or jelly or something?

Herman Miller Eames Chair repairs - 1 Pictures, Images and Photos

Slim Thickman from Gizzard Fling Tennessee writes Dear Hugh:There’s a lot of talk about getting enough FIBER in our diets. What do you recommend?

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From Hugh

Howdy Slim:

 Their are a number of good things on the market that will provide excellent fiber sources. They are all readily available and some are just plain cheap.

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“Two by Four”s from your local Lumber yard make an excellent source. ..(.also helping to eradicate plaque buildup on your upper incisors.)

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Used furniture is also good. Simply eating one table leg off of an average sized end table or dinette set will help keep things working well.

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I also recommend consuming a reasonable amount of cardboard. Our research indicates that it absorbs cholestorol (and other stuff that I dont know the name of.)

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Here at H.A.S. we have also herd good things about eating average sized tree trimmings and even old railroad cross ties. (use only as directed)

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Bunky Smellman from his Crib in Warbler Rap Kentucky writes Dear Hugh: Why did the chicken cross the road?

From Hugh:

 

Well Bunky….Without more information , it is impossible for me to ascertain a number of crucial facts regarding your question.

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My stellar staff of thousands and Eye are left to ponder.   …Which Chicken? ….. And What road?…….. also  When…?…….  And did the chicken completely cross it? Was it a “road”..or a State highway.?

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As you can see, you are desperately in knead of mower thought and thoroughness on this matter. Please do your homework before trying again.

 

Ellie Lou Wombat from Peoria writes Dear Hugh…You shared a picture of one of your readers yesterday….Do you, by chance, have a good photo handy of last years winner of the Frog Squat Alabama beauty contest? I know she is a regular contributor to H.A.S.

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Yes,,,…….This is one of her better Photos….

On a good day……………..Millie Faye Wordsworth.

eCat Lady Pictures, Images and Photos

Lilii Ermstrum from South Dakota writes Dear Hugh…I’m feeling blue. Why? and No! I’m knot going to give you any more information.

……………From Hugh

Welllllllllllll……It’s actually a little bit hard for me to say Lilii…….since I’ve never met you and know nothing except what I see here …

As you can see,

its difficult for me to get a complete picture…………………….

of the situation.

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I hope you got that hairdo at HALF PRICE.    

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