Crummly T. Fhedderwhine who is a bubblegum factory owner in Sipsy Alabama ….pops a huge orb of inflated gum and simply types…..dear Hughbert, …I understand that you are excellent at training canines and other dogs to not do tricks. Cant you tell us about some of the tricks you have trained your scruffy mutts not to do?


From Feline expert Hughy


Howdy Sam………


Yes ….I can tell you about some of em…..

Would you like for me to do sew?


Ok, I will………….


One of the tricks I trained my dogs

to not do ….

is to fetch the paper..

The reason I did this was to keep

from having to read the paper,…

Cause I dont have time to read it (except ONLINE),

and they keep piling up on the front steps

if I dont train the dog not to get em.


They way I did this was to whack em over the head

with a rolled up Swiffer Lint Cloth

any time they brought me a paper.

Instead of fetching the paper,

I have trained them to fetch loose change

and dollars bills from parking lots and

under bleachers at football stadiums.


I also trained my mutts not to ROLL OVER.

There is nothing worse than four dachshunds

ROLLING through the house for no reason.


Yes………….I put the same picture in here twice…..

The reason I did it is simply because I could.

And nobody could stop me in time to avoid it..


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