Today is a very special day here at H.A.S. It is the day on which we give our annual State of the Confusion Speech. Much like the President of the United States who gives an annual State of the Union Address. It is crucial that the American people understand what is going on……and Conversely and Adjacently , it is crucial that the readers of H.A.S. posts stay up on the latest State of the Confusion here at Hugh’s Answering Service.

From Speechgiver Hughbert’
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My Fellow HASmericans……….Scattered across the Hughnited States….

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Here YE…. Here Ye….!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and Forsooth……and Forthwith.

(I have know idea what that means, but , since Im givin a speech, I figgered I’d throw it in.)

The State of the Confusion around hear is not bad at all…… Largely due to my stabilizing influence. But lets knot make a big deal about that. This is not something I want to make an issue of..

ONE THING THAT WE ARE GOING TO DO AROUND HERE IS APPOINT A COMMISSION TO MAKE SURE NOBODY ENDS A SENTENCE ON A PREPOSITION. This is something you all need to be aware of.`

Just as soon as I finish this speech and fly to Jamaica for a two week vacation, I’m gonna do something about that problem that something needs to be done about.

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Now some of you have been concerned about rational security. Do not worry. There’s so little around here, that is rational,……that even in the event of a Watergate style breakin,……No one will be able to locate it.

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Regarding the state of the ecomony, don’t worry about it. Nothing I would say wood make any scents. Just keep in mind that if we run out of money, we’ll just print more on our HAS money printing machine which is backed by the Full Faith and Credit of the Hughnited States Meant.

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Otherwise things are weigh two complicated to try to put it in this post……. WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY two complex…. Only one person really understands some of that stuff. AUNT BERTHA. And shes at a POGO Stick Convention In Buzzard Crunch Ohio.

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