Wendy Talisman from a candy store at the Buzzard Gulch Mall in…. Sawdust Tennessee… Writes today’s riveting post question…… Dear Hughbert, What is the most effective way to train a my Dachshund to fetch my neighbor’s newspaper for me…?

 

From Hugbert

.

Hold it just WON MINUTE WENDY.

Why are you wanting your neighbor’s newspaper?

.

You are gonna get in trouble……. Now get your act together down there in Buzzard Gulp.

.

I will address this as if you were training the little mutt to get YOUR  paper.

First of all, dachshunds are inherently superior to all other Canines. This is well-known, but seldom mentioned.

Except buym E.

.

Step one….. Tell your hound that you are fixin’

to train him. (or Her)

.

Step Two… crawl to the road on your hands

and knees and get the paper in your mouth,..

then crawl back.

.

Step Three… Explain to Bertha Snodgrass

(two doors down) what is going on.

.

Step Four… Remind mutt to watch CAREFULLY.

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Step Five… Repeat Steps one through four.

.

Do this for Six months.***

.

***The dog will either catch on…… or You will be glad to just go back to walking out there like you always did before all this……and you won’t be tying up bandwidth asking me such stuff.

Your Walcome.

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