Farnsworth Betterton from an accounting class on the campus of Auburn University writes Dear Hugh: Why Are Frogs, Possums and Wombats near-sighted?


From Zoological expert Hughy


Hello out there in the number-crunching world….But I must ask. How do you ACCOUNT for asking this insightful query about amphlibians and marsuppialls?..


Out of the million of questions that I receive daily, this is one of them. And , It just so happens that I have studied a great deal about  the visual capabilities of virtually all varmits under two feet tall…. so, I will be glad to deal with this important issue.


There are various theories on why this is the case with FROGS, WOMBATS, AND POSSUMS……They are all wrong except mine.


BUT BUT  BUT……….I’m Keeping an open mind.


These critters are near-sighted because they are all BAD UGLY. If they could get a close and accurate view of themselves, there would be SEVERELY DEPRESSED critters running around everywhere…. Clearly, possums have enough to worry about as it is, since the invention of the internal comblustion engine. And frogs have concerns regarding certain items on restaurant menus in certain areas of the country…FROG LEGS. Wombats don’t worry much about anything in particular, but are genetically predisposed to discouragement.


Most of this information was obtained in a study funded by the United states Government.( Herbie Panslinger was awarded 50 million smackers in a grant from the Department of Education..to interview Frogs etc….) Your tax dollars at work.


You’re welcome.


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