Sid Mumford from Haystack Tennesseessee crawls out from under his Great Aunt’s treadle sewing machine and writes Dear Hughy………..My Auntie Hulgagard Gabbitt has lost two of the needles that her great great grandmother gave her. Will you use your enormous H.A.S. surveillance and information gathering equipment to hep us find em?


From Hugh


Howdy up there in Tennessee. I never heard of Haystack Tennessee…..But Im sure its a niece place……!


Im sew sew sorry that we can’t use our enormous tracking system to help find the needles. But we discussed it at our morning meeting (while we all sipped our traditional prune juice and ate sauer kraut mixed with raisin bran)…..We all feel that we can’t get involved in this operation.


Looking for Needles in Haystack has never been all that time-efficient.


Now look. Don’t be upset about that answer…The minute you saw the name Haystack, and the mention of needles…..YOU ALL NEW IT WAS JUST A QUESTION OF WHENNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN. There was know weigh I wasnt going to say it. So calm down out there.


I hope your ant finds her sewing implements. BUT WE CANT BE LOOKING for A NEEDLE in a town called HAYSTACK. MUCH LESS TWO NEEDLES. (There, I said it again.) …and I also deny that it is corny. It is simply me utilizing my freedom of sqreech. Guaranteed by the Constithughtion.

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