Panda Bearmane’ from Ipswhitch Ontario writes inn twoday…Dear Ole Hughy: My entire house has developed a moose problem. I am finding them in the sink, in the linen closet, around old piles of crackers that my three year old great grandneice leaves in the corners of her room….and even in the laundry basket. I understand that you have invented a better moosetrap….Will that work in this case?..and do you have any further advice for me?

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……..From Hughy.

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Welll………………..As my staph and I have sat hear looking your posted question over……………..(instead of over-looking your question..)

…We are somewhat perplexed. Unsure as to weather or knot you have a problem with MOOSES or MOUSES….?

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Let us assume momentarily that your spelling iz correckt and that you actually have a house which is infested with MOOOSSES….

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YOU”VE GOT A REAL PROBLEM……….The average moose weighs 1200-1500 pounds…..Which means the traps I sell, won’t do you a BIT of good.( But you might could go the local horse supply store and buy a bridle and a BIT…..and rig it on the rascals where you can ride em around in the house.)

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I would say to get some of the glue traps and try that,………but Im afraid all you’ll end up with ….is MOOOSES running around with white squares stuck all over em. Science has not yet developed a really effective MOOSETRAP for indoor use. You could set moose food outside on the patio and then leave the doors open. At this point they may be lured into the outdoors by their inherent yearning for proper sustenance. Once outside they can be SHOOOED into the neighbors yard….or perhaps you can put signs on em and sell advertising as you walk em around on a leash.

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Sure, it sounds unusual……….BUT WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME!!!!!!??????????? I can’t be expectorated to know how to handle something this goofy. Whom ever herd of such a thang.??????????

……………..And one more thing Panda Ole Gal……………….If you mistreat those varmits…YOU”LL GET CHARGED WITH A MOOSEDEMEANOR.



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