Little Billy Woothington from Sipe Tennessee writes Dear Hugh: Rumors around town are saying that , along with often diving into the paths of speeding locomotives to save kittens and other small mammals of various types, and answering billions of questions from readers,…… are also a starting split end for the Atlanta Falcons but playing under a false name to avoid noteriety…….Is this true?


From Hughy


Hi Little……………I do knot no how these rumors get started………….After all I’ve done to seek the promulgation of facts only. It is absolutely not true that I am playing for the Atlanta Falcons as a clandestine split end………….NO TRUTH TO THAT AT ALL. It’s the New York Jets….and it’s not split end,….its halfback……..


The very idea of being a split end repulses me. My dear sister always complained about split ends and tried to eliminate them entirely. I never understood why she was constantly saying…”I’ve got to do something about split ends.” I picked up the animosity that so many females have and I would never play that role on a team. Never.


The rumors about the speeding trains are also blown all out of porpution……The locomotives arent usually speeding. they are well within the speed guidelines laid out by the authorities.

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